i get to read things that are interesting and diverse.
i get to exercise my logistical bones and organise a series of small monthly events.
i get to talk and engage with people who have been blessed by God with enormous intelligence and passion.
it's crazy that i get paid to wrestle with the bible and theology on a deep and daily basis.
i've wanted to move to canada for a while now.
but often the motives of my heart are unclear, even to myself.
i don't think it's enough to just want to go somewhere. i think you ought to have a good reason to get up and leave or a good reason to not sit tight and stay.
when i was last in canada over eighteen months ago, the state of the church was basically heart-breaking.
it was difficult to hear the whisper of the gospel anywhere, really. especially compared to the states, where, at least nominally, christian discourse remains dominant.
eighteen months ago i decided i would go to canada at some point and in the past eighteen months that plan has changed innumerable times as i've struggled with what it means to lay my plans before God and trust Him as i humbly kneel at the throne of grace.
the volatility and selfishness of my heart means that i forget to rejoice in all circumstances and leaving has become, at times, a means of escape, a band-aid cure all for discontent and insecurity. and so i've become unsure about the way forward with making plans because i find it difficult to trust myself.
and then i remember that i don't really have to trust myself, i have to trust jesus.
and there are days when God is super kind and i read things completely unrelated to thoughts of canada that assure me with momentary clarity that i should go.
today, sitting at my desk, doing some research on the child theology movement, is one of those super kind days.
'[Canada is] in desperate need of embracing jesus. and we are not simply “pagans” never having heard of Christ but represent a paganism that once embraced the gospel and now wants nothing to do with it, that is much more resistant because of its historical expression.'
