today feels a bit like the first day of school.
it is the first day of my masters degree.
i just don't know what to expect.
but i am excited to be out of my depth.
for the first time in a long time i am looking forward to not knowing anything and learning everything.
i know how blessed i am but so often forget.
so i am praying that i will use the next eighteen months wisely and well.
and that i will be to the praise of His glorious grace.
when satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within upward i look and see Him there who made an end to all my sin.
baffled
in His eyes, i am worth fighting for.
in His eyes, i am worth dying for.
completely and entirely outrageous.
in His eyes, i am worth dying for.
completely and entirely outrageous.
june twenty-second, evening
our best portion and richest heritage we cannot lose.
whatever troubles come, let us play the man; let us show that we are not such little children as to be cast down by what may happen in this poor fleeting state of time.
our country is Immanuel's land,
our hope is above the sky,
and therefore, calm as the summer's ocean;
we will see the wreck of everything earthborn,
and yet rejoice in the God of our salvation.
- c.h. spurgeon
whatever troubles come, let us play the man; let us show that we are not such little children as to be cast down by what may happen in this poor fleeting state of time.
our country is Immanuel's land,
our hope is above the sky,
and therefore, calm as the summer's ocean;
we will see the wreck of everything earthborn,
and yet rejoice in the God of our salvation.
- c.h. spurgeon
prudence
my cat is one of my favourite creatures in the whole world.
i am looking for a job on seek.com with my legs crossed, hunching over my laptop on my double bed.
of all the places she could sleep in all the space this bed provides, she chooses to tuck herself under my left thigh and, unassumingly, fall asleep purring.
she's close to perfect.
except, she's missing most of her tiny teeth and all her fangs, save one.
she also hisses like a maniac at our other cats.
and because she's old, when she walks it's all tentative and unsure, as though each weighted and clumsy step has the poorly executed intention of a careful tread behind it.
one-toothed, grumpy and ageing, she gums her way into my heart.
if i could say something to her that she could actually understand, it would probably be, 'i like the way you sometimes sit in my lap and just rest your chin on my arm, in the crook of my elbow, like it's the most normal thing in the world to do.'
i know i am going to be devastated when she's gone.
i am looking for a job on seek.com with my legs crossed, hunching over my laptop on my double bed.
of all the places she could sleep in all the space this bed provides, she chooses to tuck herself under my left thigh and, unassumingly, fall asleep purring.
she's close to perfect.
except, she's missing most of her tiny teeth and all her fangs, save one.
she also hisses like a maniac at our other cats.
and because she's old, when she walks it's all tentative and unsure, as though each weighted and clumsy step has the poorly executed intention of a careful tread behind it.
one-toothed, grumpy and ageing, she gums her way into my heart.
if i could say something to her that she could actually understand, it would probably be, 'i like the way you sometimes sit in my lap and just rest your chin on my arm, in the crook of my elbow, like it's the most normal thing in the world to do.'
i know i am going to be devastated when she's gone.
new mercies
'...sometimes on a sunny day it began even to be pleasant and genial, and a greenness grew over those brown beds, which, freshening daily, suggested the thought that Hope traversed them at night, and left each morning brighter traces of her steps.'
it's a beautifully unassuming line from the first paragraph of chapter nine of jane eyre about loss and time passing and the grave of a dear friend. i've loved those words since i was eleven years old. i'm not sure what made me love them then, and even now, i have not yet completely established why they affect me.
for any human being though, it is easy to dabble in the currency of half-truths and lies. i tell myself the things i want to hear more than the things i ought to or the things i know are true. and so often confronting reality is traded in for the musings of wandering minds and minute-long attention spans. our mental ascensions and the giving of our hearts are disconnected and in the realms of emotion and reckoning so much is left unsaid or over thought.
there are mountains everywhere molehills should be.
because we are sinful, we have our own brown beds upon which we are waiting for greenness to grow.
because i am sinful, there are scars on my heart from wounds that never really were.
but brontë's words are a delicate reminder of the fact that in just letting the days go by, something hauntingly beyond my control happens; greenness grows.
through long nights, jesus is traversing my brown beds and leaving brighter steps of His traces each morning.
it's a beautifully unassuming line from the first paragraph of chapter nine of jane eyre about loss and time passing and the grave of a dear friend. i've loved those words since i was eleven years old. i'm not sure what made me love them then, and even now, i have not yet completely established why they affect me.
for any human being though, it is easy to dabble in the currency of half-truths and lies. i tell myself the things i want to hear more than the things i ought to or the things i know are true. and so often confronting reality is traded in for the musings of wandering minds and minute-long attention spans. our mental ascensions and the giving of our hearts are disconnected and in the realms of emotion and reckoning so much is left unsaid or over thought.
there are mountains everywhere molehills should be.
because we are sinful, we have our own brown beds upon which we are waiting for greenness to grow.
because i am sinful, there are scars on my heart from wounds that never really were.
but brontë's words are a delicate reminder of the fact that in just letting the days go by, something hauntingly beyond my control happens; greenness grows.
through long nights, jesus is traversing my brown beds and leaving brighter steps of His traces each morning.
it's hot?
today i was told that over the past week sydney has experienced the most consecutive days with temperatures above thirty degrees celsius since 150 years ago. i'm not sure about the validity of this statement, but i trust my platonic friend for relaying this information to me. this impressive record was consolidated in our minds when we realised that not a single person alive has ever experienced this many unbearably warm days in a row. ugh.
at the very least, today, i have the the summer sun, a thinner-than-the-rest-of-the-world's ozone layer and a high pressure weather system to thank for the hot water running out of my cold water taps.
at the very least, today, i have the the summer sun, a thinner-than-the-rest-of-the-world's ozone layer and a high pressure weather system to thank for the hot water running out of my cold water taps.
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